All posts tagged: South Korea

Dealing with TCK grief and depression

In the tearful process of leaving South Korea after graduating from high school, I can distinctly remember a good friend of mine saying, “Ohhh… it feels like we’re at a funeral!”  In many ways, we were. Whether from my own life growing up among worlds or from working with hundreds of TCKs over the past decade at Interaction International, it’s becoming increasingly clear to me how central grief and loss are to the TCK lifestyle. Grief is a very human experience and one that many TCKs begin to know from a young age.  The kinds of feelings that come with grief, which is an emotional response to loss, require much care from both self and others, especially considering TCKs often undergo “complex grief,” a phenomenon that can happen when multiple kinds of loss occur all at the same time. Since grief for TCKs can be multifaceted, many find it helpful to spend time intentionally identifying the various and specific losses that have been suffered.  Contemplating these losses and allowing the time and space to feel …

Part 1: TCK goes to college

I was 17 when I started college in Florida; just months away from being able to legally enter, but not drink at, a club or a bar. Because I had been living in Shanghai the last four years, I didn’t have a driver’s license – only a passport, and my American diplomat card. I got away with acting like a dumb freshman girl who “forgot” my ID a few times, but when my friends and I attempted to go out dancing one night, my ego was completely shot. “Where’s your ID,” the bouncer demanded. “Well, I have this,” I took out my diplomat ID. “My birthday’s right here.” He looked at it puzzled, squinting at the Chinese characters. “What is this? Don’t you have a driver’s license?” Um, no sir, that requires the ability to drive. “My birthday’s right there,” I pointed, hoping maybe he’d just let me in. “No, I can’t take this, I can’t even read this.” He threw it back and me and took the next person in line. I was furious. …